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How To Pick The Perfect Halloween
Costume
With only five weeks left before Halloween, it’s time
to get serious about what you’re going to wear on the big day. You
can’t just throw on any old thing last minute. that would leave you
open for shame and scorn and, you know what? You’d totally deserve
it. No, for Halloween to be a success you need to think about your
costume. Consider the angles. Pick the perfect persona.
But that’s not such an easy task. In order to make sure you get the
right costume for you, we’ve put together a simple guide. Ask
yourself these questions and soon enough you’ll have a costume that
no one will mock you for.
It’s almost that time again: The one day of the year when women are allowed to express their true sexiness, and men are freed to dress like giant penis jokes. As Halloween approaches, costume manufacturers are struggling to produce new sexy/penis concepts to satisfy all the sexy/penis demands of sexy/penis-loving Americans. Sure, it’s refreshing to finally find an industry committed to producing low-quality merchandise meant to encourage women to be extremely sexy, and men to be sexually immature.
On the other hand: are there some Disney fish that should never be served up as a spandex mini-dresses? Is a spaghetti penis costume ever a good idea? And what happens when the guy with the gigantic plush phallus costume gets tipsy? The ten worst sexy costumes of 2009, after the jump.
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Scary or Sexy
The very first thing that you
should consider when you’re narrowing down costumes is where you’re
planning on wearing it. Are you going to be shaking your booty
at a college party? [In which case, you will need a sexy costume.]
Will you be partying at work where standards are a little more
conservative? (Scary or unique costumes would be better here.
If it has the word sexy in it, don’t wear it to work.) Is it a
family party where you’ll be chasing after kids? (Avoid high
heels!) Or are you just throwing on your costume for trick or
treating? (Pick something super comfortable.)
If you’re going to be outside, you’ll want to think about the
weather too. Short skirts and bare midriffs might work in Southern
California but trick or treating in the same thing in Michigan will
lead to frostbite in tender places. Dress for the location or you’re
sure to end up sorry. |
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